It’s How You Finish

I chose minimalist living partly out of necessity and partly because I wanted to try and undo some of my poor decisions of the past.

I had what a lot of people strive for. A house that was paid for, a business that served me well.

But I was never happy.

My ex wife was the business manager, accountant, marketing director etc.

And like a lot of men I buried my head in the sand and let her do most everything.

Let this be a lesson to others out there who may come across this post.

Take responsibility for your own life. Never let anyone else handle your affairs. Financial or otherwise.

So when I literally walked away from it all in late 2007, I left her holding the bag to deal with it all. I did stick around businesswise until about April 2008 but emotionally was a mess.

So I left. I did it to literally save my own life but now it is coming back to bite me.

My ex did not remit income tax in my name for 3 or 4 years. My name was still on the business you see. I did try to get the whole thing sorted out right away but she was reluctant and unwilling to do so.

Why not hire a lawyer you ask?

A bunch of ball washing bastards.

But now I owe the government thousands of dollars.

A plan is in place to deal with this issue. A repayment plan that would take years to make go away.

I am now at the point where I want nothing out of the divorce other than my freedom and a fresh start.

As soon as you say that to people they immediately get defensive and say that you are entitled to this and that.

People get emotionally invested in the whole scenario.

I don’t care anymore.

I just want my minimalist life.

I don’t have any of the stuff from my marriage now so what is the difference?

What about the money you say.

What about it?

Knowing my ex like I do, even if we have an agreement that she is to pay me payments for my share of the house and business and other property that we have I really do not think I will ever see a nickel.

I want the second half of my life to be about living. I don’t want it to be about still dealing with her and lawyers trying to figure out about payments and who is owed what.

At the end of it all we are all going to die. Do I want to look back and say yeah I got what I “deserved”?

Or do I just want to enjoy what time I have left?

Mentally and financially I have started over anyway.

Certainly the money that is owed to the government is a major setback and I am trying to figure out a viable option or strategy to deal with that and still be able to save for my future.

There are options.

And things could always be much worse.

All I know is that if it were not for minimalist living I would be in a huge mess.

Minimalist living has allowed me to keep things in perspective.

Minimalist living has allowed me to breathe.

Minimalist living has allowed me to live.

Life does go on. Even in times that seem overwhelming.

Please remember this.

As my stunningly smart and beautiful girlfriend reminds me:

This too shall pass.

It isn’t how you start. It is how you finish that matters.

How do I want to finish?

Your thoughts are welcome.

“Live simply”

22 thoughts on “It Isn’t How You Start…

  1. “I’ve always thought anyone can make money. Making a life worth living, that’s the real test” Robert Fulghum, American essayist. Find a life worth living, regardless of how you get there.

  2. That is so disappointing to hear 😦 if you can find access to any sort of volunteer tax programs in your area I would maybe talk to them, if she wasn’t remitting taxes on your behalf for 3-4 years as the director of a business I’m not entirely sure that you should be held entirely liable for that – perhaps seek some advice on that, it sounds like a huge mess any ways. Good luck! You have the right attitude.

    1. I have spoken to someone already. The wonderful federal government does not give a rat ‘s ass another how it happened. They just want the money.

      My name was on the business so I am on the hook for it.
      Thanks for the tip though.

  3. It wasn’t important then and it isn’t important NOW… Money and belongings only symbolise others having power over you. Your thoughts and actions have to come from a pure motive. Breathe easy and everything will work out 😀

  4. Sad that the most mature, adult way of addressing the situation is seen as wrong in our culture. Mark, if you hadn’t before, you’ve seriously earned my respect with this post for being willing to take the high road on the issue. If only more people could see then sense in this we’d all be better off.

  5. some hard lessons there but at least you are now on the other side not looking back. All the best to you! Your endeavours and new way of life are certainly inspiring.

  6. Oh boy, was I ever in these same shoes years ago! I can so feel for you, my friend. It was hell, as I’m sure you can relate, but I am so much better off and much happier these days. Hang tight, stick it out, and all my best to you. Oh, and there’s nothing like a loving, understanding, stick-with-you-no-matter-what significant other!

  7. I think the ultimate goal in life is to die happy. To feel that you lived your life well and left the world a little better from your contribution to it. It’s a tall order and I wonder how many people pass on feeling satisfied with the life they led?
    With all plans you start with the goal and figure out how to achieve it. I struggle with how to accomplish this goal often. It’s often difficult to know which path to take or which choice to make.
    It sounds like you moved on from a bad relationship and a stifling business situation. That take a lot of courage.

  8. Similar situation but I realised when I split from my wife I needed something to start to live a more simple life, I left my partner but took a bit less then half with me, it seems reasonably amicable. I found another partner (happiness is only real when shared ?) and hope I can get my head around things eventually, though I know I strain her sometimes. I was unwittingly trying to achieve what Thoreau had pioneered in Walden and Heidigger and talked of when searching to be alone (which is completely different from loneliness), I came across both of these after I had moved 🙂

    We moved to rural Australia, small acreage (45) walled in by state forest, own power (solar with batteries) , own chickens, own vegetables, surrounded by bush, That story can be read here, and while we were perhaps not as minimalist as some, we were simplifying in our own way as well as trying to reduce our planetary footprint. That aside, we also felt we needed to give to our fellow man, we did feel Australia was mostly full of people with an entitlement mentality with little ability to see how comparatively well off they were, this saw us come to Cambodia to help over here, that story can be found here

    I haven’t read all your site, so apologies if it’s already been discussed but you may be interested in an Australian “minimalist” Ted Trainer and his philosophy of a simpler way

    Best of luck to you and others. I wonder if like US President Obhama, it’s useful to have a round table using Google’s Hangout ?

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