You may not like me after you read this.
When I met my ex wife back in 2006 she had a 5 year old son. I was 26 at the time.
He had just started school.
Now here was a kid that had never met his dad. I cannot even comprehend what that must be like for a boy.
So here is my confession.
I treated that kid like crap. You have no idea. And I am so ashamed. Even as I write this tears are streaming down my face.
And here is the kicker. I have a great dad. The perfect role model.
So how is it possible that I treated this little kid so terribly?
Needless to say our relationship was volatile to say the least and it was all my fault. I cannot take back all the things I said and the way I treated him over the years. Nothing physical, just mental abuse.
I was angry all the time. I yelled at him. A little kid and I yelled.
I would give anything to be able to go back and redo that one part of my life. Just with him.
His mom and I were never going to work out so that doesn’t matter or mean anything to me.
I blame myself for everything that went wrong with him. The not doing so well in school, the experimenting with marijuana in high school and so on.
How could I have been such a prick? It sickens me.
I think about it almost every day. I am not sure that I even deserve any type of forgiveness. I mean, maybe there are things that a person does that are so reprehensible that they just should not be forgiven.
I actually worry about a lot more now and he is 21. He does not now this and wouldn’t believe it anyway.
Man I’d give anything to go back for that one reason.