Saint Mary’s Frosh Sex Chant

Here in Halifax Nova Scotia, Saint Mary’s University has come under fire after video has surfaced showing so called student leaders involved in a sex chant that promotes underage, non consensual sex with females. This was taking place during “frosh week”.

Here are new students arriving at university and this is what they are exposed to. There are girls participating in the chant as well.

You can see the video here.

Basically it is promoting rape.

I found it disturbing and was saddened about it.

But really what did we expect?

We now live in a culture that endorses rape.

I consider myself pretty liberal and open minded. But have you seen what is on television lately? Have you listened to some of the music or watched music videos?

Just watch and listen to the Robin Thicke video for “Blurred Lines”.

And that is what it is all about isn’t it? Blurred lines.

She has a short skirt on and cleavage. Must mean she “wants it”.

This is what we accept as okay thinking and behavior.

So why shouldn’t Saint Mary’s have a sex chant? Maybe we could have a sex chant competition between universities.

The Sex Chant Olympics.

There is a lot of crap out there that basically says that it is okay to treat women like crap. It is okay to view that as subservient.

We just don’t get it.

I am all for people having “fun” in whatever way they want as long as it is not hurtful, harmful or hateful to anyone else.

The Saint Mary’s sex chant does not meet that criteria.

On the local Halifax news last night a few young girls who participated in the sex chant were interviewed. They giggled about it and thought it was no big deal. They were “just having fun”. They weren’t hurting anyone.

Jesus.

I wonder if they would feel the same way if it was a chant against a visible minority or ethnic group?

I also wonder what that parents of Rehtaeh Parsons would think?

Now I think(hope) that these girls are in the minority.

The public backlash over this story has been swift and severe.

But probably not severe enough. The students involved have issued apologies. Well of course they have. Most of us apologize after we get caught. But after that what happens? The behavior continues unchecked.

I wonder how long it will be before parents of the students in the video will be speaking out in support of their children.

I can hear them now.

“It wasn’t their fault.”

Hell maybe it isn’t. Maybe it is all of our fault for just allowing this type of behavior the go on for so long without questioning it.

“That being said these are young adults. At what point does someone stand up and say, “hey, wait a minute. This is WRONG”. Just one person. Please.

I want to believe in the youth of today but it is becoming harder to to that.

I have a 15 year old son. Where does he stand on this? I have not spoken to him about it yet. But I will. Goodness knows our schools won’t. They are too afraid to bring up a subject like this. They are too afraid to have a meaningful discussion about something. They are too busy arguing about whether students can wear hats in school.

At what point does something like the Saint Mary’s sex chant become hate speech?

Rape culture.

Blurred lines indeed.

I would love to know your thoughts on this. We need a discussion.

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10 thoughts on “Saint Mary’s Frosh Sex Chant and Rape Culture

  1. I agree with your comments. I am a SMU grad. and I am ashamed. I think frosh activities are beyond pointless. Embarrass and degrade first year kids, and then when they become second year students, they get to do the same, and probably the behaviour worsens over time. Shameful and disgusting. our culture just seems to accept more bad behaviour.

  2. “Hell maybe it isn’t. Maybe it is all of our fault for just allowing this type of behavior the go on for so long without questioning it.”

    There is no “maybe” about it. It is our fault. People who scream “censorship” the moment anything is criticized as inappropriate speech miss the point. There should be no need for censorship because people should be revolted and refuse to buy into this crap. People do buy into it because we haven’t taught enough critical thinking skills.

    Consider the blurred lines controversy. The parodies are way better
    than the original. The lines are so much more clever. The videos are
    more amusing.

    That’s just two that are better than the original, I have seen many more. They are far better than any dry lecture or explanation of rape culture.

  3. This is bad. India has similar problems with frosh activities – we call it ragging and I abhor it but most people I know support it. It is lame and useless. Why would you want to be friends or dominate someone just because you entered college a year earlier than them?

  4. Hi, funny, I have just finished reading Iron John by Robert Bly – a classic about male initiations – about becoming a real man, a man who can recognise and manage his emotions and his instincts. A man who is strong, brave, wise and compassionate. A man who can delay gratification.

    Bly explains that in our culture men never leave their “mother’s house” ( they keep being indulged and pampered well into adulthood) and that there are no older men who would take them away and initiate them. As a result most men never become men. They die as boys – see Lehman bros etc. This is boys’ job.

    The problem with boys is not that they are bad – but that they are stupid, hot-blooded and unaware of the consequences of their actions. They are easily swayed both by their own impulses and by anybody they admire. Boys have little emotional control, little empathy and little courage.

    The boys who performed that chant would have been initiated men in a traditional culture. In our culture their psychological development has been stunted because the culture doesn’t give them any challenges to overcome.

    In other words: we are too good to them. We mother them for too long. We don’t let them grow up. And this is what we get as a result.

    1. While I agree wholeheartedly with your assessment I also wonder about the girls who were involved in performing the chant. What does this say about them?

      Lately I have been noticing how often I see a parent with young children who are out for a walk and the parent is on their cell phone texting. Not playing or interacting with the child at all. A bit off topic but also shows the systemic problems that are now a part of our culture when it comes to raising a child.

      Thanks so much for your insight.

      1. It also drives me crazy when I see parents in the car or walking with their kids, but they are chatting on the phone. At some point in time your child should be all you are focused on. Those walks or drives in the car can be wonderful times to talk about all kinds of things.
        This generation of children is missing something from this diminished interaction with their parents. I’m not exactly sure what. Does it tell these kids that they are really not that important? Mommy has to talk to her friends instead of listening to her child ask about a flower or “Why” about just about everything?
        We all multi-task but now we are teaching our kids that this is normal and doing anything less than two things at a time is slacking? WTF?

  5. Girls, in my humble opinion, don’t get their own initiations – because there are very few wise women around who would teach them about feminine power, self respect and… healthy seduction (vs just pleasing men).

    As a result they just copy boys – which is getting worse in this world where male values prevail and nobody knows anymore what it means to be a real woman. The girls have no attractive group of reference so they just follow their own instincts – and this means pleasing the boys.

    The girls had hardly any interest in promoting rape – but yes in getting some brownie points from those yummy males they were chanting with.

    “Multitasking” – well, that means that the children raise themselves on social media and tv. And that’s all based on satisfying primitive urges because that’s what people buy. Message: it’s ok to go for your most primitive urges. Guess what kind of society we are raising? To think about these kids running governments and corporations gives me creeps.

    It’s all twisted and thinking about this civilization makes me simply sad. I am on my own, for the moment, very small scale mission of getting people interested in male and female initiations and initiating them as well as I can (having initiated myself with the help of many wise people).

    Have a look at my blog and workshops if you are interested: artbutterflycoaching.com

    All the best and keep writing – internet is powerful and when likeminded people support each other, maybe we can change the course of this nonsense.

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