I don’t understand how people meet other people to date. Is dating actually still a thing? Hell it must be. Actually one of my best friends seems to be very much in demand in the dating world.

I have even brought this up with a therapist and get this. Even she suggested online dating. Yeah like I haven’t thought of that.

So for the past few months I have had a dating profile on a well known dating website.

And it has done nothing to make me feel more connected with anyone or better about being on my own.

Also read- How Do You Cope With Feelings Of Loneliness?

In this day and age we are being conditioned to believe that the only way to find a relationship is online. I mean we are a digital society. Online all the time. So it only makes sense that we would find our mate online. This is what we are led to believe anyway.

I am not sure that I am buying it. According to commercials I see on TV, 1 out of 5 relationships now start on an online dating site.

Well doesn’t that also mean 4 out of 5 don’t!

Does online dating make it easier to meet people? I don’t know. I have sent out a number of messages and have had no replies. It is hard to not feel…badly about that. I am just an average guy. And let’s be honest here folks, women are looking for above average. And that is okay.

Also I am now 46. So I am not sure I am in the best demographic to be attracting women. Yes I know that this is a bit of a defeatist attitude but it is the way I am feeling damn it.

When you cast a wide net you cannot be surprised that you come up with a lot of less than desirable prospects.

Most online dating profiles are decidedly generic. They all say pretty much the same thing. “Outgoing, easy going, fun loving(?), my kids are number 1(do we really need to even say that?).

I am not saying that online cannot or does not work. There are lots of people who go on dates and even end up in a relationship. I just feel that meeting someone in the “real world” may prove to be more my speed. Of course this isn’t really happening right now either.

So I have come to have a certain acceptance of being single. If I meet someone, great. If not that is okay as well.

I am content with my simple, minimalist lifestyle.

Has anyone had any experiences with online dating? Please share with the class.

There is a commercial on RIGHT NOW for an online dating site as I am writing this. Hmmm.


15 thoughts on “Online Dating. Whatever.

  1. It takes time, yes. It also takes a grand sense of humor, and patience. Risk is inherent. However, depending on the perspective you choose to take into the experience, it can also be seen as an adventure. Through this mechanism, you’re able to meet people whose paths would likely never cross with yours otherwise. Regardless of how well you mesh, or not, there is always something to be learned about yourself through those experiences. After less than a month of being online and choosing to have an open mind and heart about the experience, believing that I was ready, I’ve met my forever. I’m not saying it would work for everyone. However, I know for a fact that our paths would haven’t naturally crossed otherwise (given that he was headed back to Poland, a nation that to be honest, never topped my travel list). If I wasn’t ready, my perspective was limited to “prove it to me,” then I would have not had the mindset to enjoy the ride. Not to mention, some of my best friends I currently have came from online dating. No, we didn’t belong together, but we have made some incredible friendships that I believe will last a long time!

      1. Yes. In my town, everyone knows everyone. Dating here is not an option. At first I decided there was no way whatsoever to date beyond those boundaries. Once I opened my mind to the potentials that lay well beyond my self-imposed (and very comfortable) boundaries, there he was. Do I have some hard choices to make to accommodate that match. You betcha. Do I think it’s worth it? Absolutely. If nothing else, I would challenge you not to limit yourself based on the ideas that you cannot consider possibilities outside of your comfort zone. Stretch yourself (as slowly as you need to), and test what happens. What’s the worst that can happen? You learn that you’re more flexible and adventurous than you ever knew? Take that from one of the most risk averse and comfort zone seeking individuals in Western Colorado I know! I don’t regret my decisions for a minute.

      2. I have tried that. It does not work. Women from Halifax-our capital city, 1 hour away, are city girls with city careers etc. And again, this is fine. I am not able to move. I have a full time son who is making out well here. I would never move him from his friends. He had to do that to be here with me and it was very hard on him at the time.

    1. Oh I get where you are coming from but when you send over 70 messages and get 0 replies back I kind of think the writing is on the wall. There are only so many people to message.

      The one message I got was from someone 100’s of miles away. It is what it is.

      Why do I get the impression that you are younger and without children?

      1. A presumption I suppose, because neither are true. I just had to decide that I wasn’t happy living the way I was and take a chance. It’s not the route for everyone, and I understand that.

  2. Also, I gave up my all or nothing, black or white mentality and began to think of creative solutions. Again, I understand these choices are not for everyone!

  3. Match.com will work great for you if you look like George Clooney or Angelina Jolie. Otherwise, it’s a crap-shot. I was about to try chemistry.com which doesn’t let you “window shop,” but met my wife and never had the need. If your son’s old enough, he might understand that you too have a right to pursue a life with someone. Either way, keep in mind that finding a mate isn’t like flipping a switch, so even if the discussion is on the table, whatever change might await you is unlikely to happen overnight.

  4. I have been reading your blog for sometime, and if I met your demographic requirements, I would date you:). I think you are an interesting guy.

  5. Oh the joys of online dating..

    I’ve started documenting some of my struggles on Twitter via #matchdotcomproblems . I agree so many profiles are vague, that essentially it’s just like looking through a picture book and seeing who you like the looks of the best.

    I get the most interest from men old enough to be my father, with a second close to non-English speaking men who try to woo me with bizarre flirtation.

    The few days I have gone on rarely make it past just the first date, and the two that have seem to never make it past a third.

    I think the biggest issue with online dating is that we put these checkboxes for who our “ideal” is but in person that is not at all who were are attracted to. I doubt any of my past “real-life” relationships would fit into the boxes I think my ideal mate would have.

    Ah well.. the quest shall continue!

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