Have You Ever Argued About Money With Your Significant Other?
I have a feeling that a large percentage of people would answer in the affirmative on this one.
According to various studies and surveys people would rather discuss sex, religion, politics, past relationships, family issues than spend time talking about their own personal finances.
Very telling isn’t it?
Furthermore, A Kansas State University study found that couples who argued about money early in their relationships — regardless of their income, debt or net worth — were at a greater risk for divorce.
So why the hell is money the big taboo?
I feel that we are not taught as youngsters how to deal with, manage, or think about money. It’s like it is this big mystery. So as we get older maybe we have made some bad decisions and then of course we do not really want to share this with anyone, let alone our partner.
Of course if you are just getting into a new relationship with someone, it is not very sexy to be discussing your level of debt or how much you make or whatever.
I say who the hell cares?
Easy for me to say now of course. My ex wife and I argued about money. Which is interesting. Our house was paid for, we had a business that did well. I personally wanted for nothing but I still wanted to “keep up with the Joneses”. Never mind that the Joneses were broke and in debt and living paycheck to paycheck like everyone else. But I didn’t see it that way of course.
So is there anything you can do to curb the arguing about money with your partner?
If you are have been in a relationship for a while and have some assets and debt you may need to obtain the services of a professional to help you wade through your issues.
If you are in a new relationship and things seem to be progressing nicely maybe you should ask some questions.
- Separate or joint accounts?
- Who pays the bills?
- Are we splitting all payments equally?
- How did your parents deal with money? Were they savers or spenders?
- Are you a saver or spender?
- Are we both going to work?
- Do you have a monthly budget?
- Do you believe in investing?
- Do you want to own a house or rent a place?
- Are new cars a must have or are you okay with used vehicles?
- Have you made any mistakes with money?
- How many credit cards do you have?
- Do you save for purchases and pay cash or put it on credit?
- Do you give to charitable organizations?
How would you feel about asking those questions or having to answer them? Some of you are probably shaking your heads right now at the very thought of it!
I get it. It isn’t easy but that is only because we are not accustomed to having this discussion. Once you start maybe it would be easy to keep going with it. Hell maybe you realize that you are not on the same page with each other in regards to money issues. Better to figure this out now than to be fighting about it a year or two down the road.
Here a couple of books that may help with this all important topic.
Sound off in the comments and share your thoughts!