What to do when you feel like you want to give up.
Me: “So I guess there really is no point in me even coming home then?’
Her: “No I don’t think there is.”
That is how my marriage ended. With that simple conversation. That was back in 2007. Don’t get me wrong, the marriage had been ending for years. But ultimately that is how the end came.
I Want to Give Up
At first I felt relief. I thought it was for the best. Things had been bad for a long time so this had to be better. It was a chance for a fresh start and this time things were going to be different. I was going to be a different person.
But it didn’t exactly turn out that way. Over the next few weeks I started to regret the decision I had made. I wanted to go back and try and fix things. I thought it could be better. And of course she wanted no part of that at all. I was devastated. More than devastated, whatever that would be. I felt like I wanted to just wanted to give up.
It Only Got Worse From There
I cannot even begin to convey had bad things got after that. I think I lost my mind a little bit. You know the Evanescence song My Immortal? I had that on my mp3 player and I would listen to it on repeat for hours at a time. I spent days on end crying uncontrollably. I felt hopeless.
This went on for months. Finally I sat down and wrote a note saying I was sorry and that I was giving up on life. I had decided to kill myself.
“Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem”https://t.co/SVSJhoxBf3
— Mark Lowe (@MarkKLowe) December 31, 2016
But something stopped me. I thought of my son, who was 9 at the time. I called my best friend and she in turn contacted the therapist I had been seeing. I ended up in the hospital for 2 weeks. And I am still here.
It was the lowest point anyone can imagine. So if you are reading this and you feel like you want to give up on life I have actually been there. I feel your pain. I honestly do.
You Will Get Through This
I am not going to lie. For months, if not years, after that it was hard to deal with all the emotions. I have Dysthymic Disorder so I am a bit down at the best of times.
But it does get better. It gets better one minute and one day at a time. You put one foot in front of the other and you just keep moving forward.
Things to do When You Want to Give Up
Here are some ideas for things you can do when you feel like giving up. Things will get better. I am living proof of this.
- Acknowledge that you are in a bad place. You have to own it. Look it right in the eye and be honest with yourself that things are bad right now. But that does not mean you are going to stay here.
- Reach out. You have people who love you and care about you. You may feel like you don’t but you do. Call them. If you really feel like you want to give up you may not be able to get through this on your own.
- Find your one thing. You have at least one thing to continue on for. Hell you have 1000 things. But for now just find one. For me it was my son. Find yours and hold onto it for dear life.
- Refuse to accept this as your truth. I know that this is how you feel. I get it. But you have to try everything, anything, that will get you out of your helplessness. It takes a leap of faith and some degree of hope and optimism. And it takes courage.
- You must change your thinking. My own thoughts were like a rat in my brain. The same shit over and over. It almost did me in. “I will do this.” “I will go on.” “I can change my life.” For more about combating negative thoughts see this article.
- Keep moving forward. Each day you are going to wake up and get up and you are going to try. And then you are going to try again. If something doesn’t work to make you feel better try something else. Feeling like you want to give up is no longer an option.
- Remind yourself that you are batting 1000 so far. Things have been tough before and you have gotten through those hard times. So you obviously do have the skills and the mindset to do it again.
- Remember that you have a choice on how you feel. Things seem shitty right now. But it is your choice how you feel about things that are happening. Reach out to your best friend if you really need help.
Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.
— Mark Lowe (@MarkKLowe) December 31, 2016
When you feel like quitting and feel like giving up things seem bleak. I have lived it so I know first hand how low you feel. You have today to start feeling better and making changes. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow isn’t even here yet. Just today.
It is too soon to give up. I don’t care how young or old you are. It is too damn soon. You are not going to let negativity and hopelessness and despair and self-doubt rob you of life.
My life is so good right now it is hard for me to believe it. I am just a regular guy who lives a simple life. I made a decision to keep moving forward and things kept getting better. Yes there were bumps in the road but I kept going. And so can you.
If you are reading this maybe you did a search for “I feel like I want to give up” or something similar. Congratulations. You are still alive and you want to make changes to get through this. Unimaginably good things will transpire in your life, even if everything doesn’t turn out exactly the way you had anticipated.
You may look back and wonder how you got through it. But you did.
Have you ever felt like you wanted to give up? How did you get through it?
Please share your thoughts in the comments and please share this post on social media. Thank you.
“Change The Code. Change Your Life.”