Do you get lonely? Are you living with loneliness and depression? I understand. I really do. As someone who battles some demons I get it. I have been dealing with Dysthymic Disorder for many years and there are days that things become extra hard.
Simply defined, loneliness is a condition of relational disconnection, social awkwardness and prolonged bouts of solitude. Lonely people often struggle with anxiety and depression, which renders them insecure and pessimistic about finding desirable and compatible friendships. Poor self-esteem and an underdeveloped sense of one’s worthiness, likeability and attractiveness prevent the lonely person from taking risks and venturing out into new relationships. Hence, they typically lack confidence and emotional energy to pursue new relationships or nurture existing ones. As a chronic condition, it can be emotionally and psychologically debilitating.
I can certainly relate to ALL of that! Coping with both loneliness and depression and all that goes with it can be a soul crushing existence.
Loneliness is one of the most common, and unpleasant emotions, that millions of people experience. For some, it may be a passing emotion. For others, it’s a recurring sense of desperation and sadness.
There are lots of articles out there on how to deal with loneliness. It ain’t that easy. You get be past middle age(like me) and options seem a bit limited on dealing with it. I have a great circle of friends but I cannot expect them to be around all the time. I am blessed to be able to see them as often I do. Hell, to be honest I feel like a burden at times. A third wheel.
Loneliness isn’t just a result of being alone or an absence of friends. It is a deeper problem that is caused by thoughts and feelings of inadequacy, imperfection and shame. Chronically lonely people are often holding onto pessimistic and bleak predictions about the prospects of finding companionship, social connections and supportive relationships.
So what do you do when you are feeling lonely and depressed? Is there a way to pull yourself up out of the depths. I know for me the feeling will pass. I may try to get out for a walk as I know that for me getting outside will help me to feel better.
Other forms of exercise can help and listening to music is a big one(I have some upbeat music playing as I write this). The other thing I will try to help deal with these feelings of loneliness is to watch some stand-up comedy videos. Laughter really can work wonders for me. Maybe these ideas will help you as well. Figuring out how to combat loneliness is not an easy thing to figure out.
Really work at practicing self compassion. I know how hard it can be for those of us who are dealing with loneliness to actually do this. Believe me I get it. I struggle with it myself.
I love how articles will suggest reaching out when you feel lonely. Well that is great but who do you reach out to? Not all of have a gaggle of friends to hit up! And again I know that for me I feel like a burden. People don’t really want to be bothered. They SAY they do but the reality is they would rather be on Facebook. Just my observation.
If you don’t have anyone to share things with…well Jesus doing everything on your own all the time is pretty damn draining and depressing.
Don’t get me wrong. Solitude is okay. Loneliness is another animal altogether. Not all of us live in place with Meetup groups where we can find some like minded people to at least be around other humans.
Upon seeing people having a good time in groups or with a partner have you ever thought “Why is it never me with someone else?” or “Why am I always alone? Is there something wrong with me?”
I certainly have asked those questions and I am at the age where I realize that I will be alone until the end of my days. I have a lot of shit going on from my past that makes it rather unhealthy to try to be in an actual relationship. That isn’t what I am after anyway. Friendship, companionship, and conversation would be nice.
So I am just writing this post as a way to both express my own feelings AND to let anyone else who is living with loneliness and depression know that you should comment and share your thoughts on this post.
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“Change The Code. Change Your Life.”